rudolphofficial:

is michael cera even a real person?

(Source: carelessobserver)

(Reblogged from officialgamecube)

dashdrive:

this oatmeal has god damn dinosaur eggs in it and then when you cook it THE DINOSAURS FUCKIN HATCH IM SO PUMPED

(Reblogged from officialgamecube)

meladoodle:

one time when i was like 12 my dad wanted me to put a dvd in the dvd player and i was like ‘what do i get in return’ and he said ‘you can have half of the winnings of this stupid lotto ticket’ and he ended up winning 60 dollars and i was so pleased with myself. 30 dollars when youre 12 is pretty much like infinity dollars. he was so mad

(Source: meladoodle)

(Reblogged from rumpsofsteelskin)

tokomon:

"you should smile more"

image

(Reblogged from cableclips)

italys-underpants:

italys-underpants:

So my sister and mum were talking about periods and my dad said, “I don’t need to worry when my period is because penises don’t bleed.” I instantly responded, “They do if you cut them off.”
I have never seen my mum laugh that hard at anything in my life.

Okay who brought it back.

(Source: aphswiss)

(Reblogged from ohana-means-famiree)
(Reblogged from cumfort)

(Source: killerfaggot)

(Reblogged from cableclips)

rneerkat:

“i bet you cant name two structures that can hold water!” “well, dam”

(Reblogged from ohana-means-famiree)

lanashiftdelrey:

when someone disturbs me while i’m eating

image

(Reblogged from penisvvrinkle)

thekingofwinter:

takohai:

glitteringknight:

"Your highness" is gender neutral.

So you know, if you’re ever confused about my pronouns.

That’ll work.

alternatively, “your majesty,” “my liege,” and “supreme overlord”

please note that “your grace” is also acceptable

(Reblogged from cableclips)